Different shit, different year.

First of all, happy new years to everyone I hope your first three days of the New Year was awesome. I've had a fantastic night on New Year's but after that, it's been pretty okay. My brother's been here for the past couple of days with his best friend and they're good company. After my room mate's leaving, I've been feeling pretty lonely. Trying to desperately ask ANYONE .. to my liking, of course .. to come over and they came to the rescue. I've been enjoying the random insiders and shit like that but something is bothering me. I hate when I get in these crazy ass depressed moods and shit don't get better as the days are shorter. Somedays, I'm happy and joyful and other days I'm not. That really gets annoying at times but I'm trying to learn how to cope .. besides smoking cause a bitch is broke right about now & nobody trying to help a sista out in this economy. 

On a another note, my celibacy is going good. I don't know how long it's been but I'm not really counting nor do I care. I'm just glad that everyone is respecting my wishes. Not to lie, I do have urges that irk the shit out of me but I have methods to calm those down. I just want to be right for whatever person is willing to treat me as a priority and not an option. I'm learning how to have standards and STICKING to them. Now, the standards are set high and I'm not gonna knock them down for no one. You might as well put a chastity belt on me cause a lot of niggas seriously don't have a chance. I don't do the stuff that I'm doing now just to put you on blue balls .. I'm doing this for my health and my self being. If I'm not good enough to date then I'm not good enough to fuck. I don't care who you are and how long I've been knowing you. Sure, I'm a big ass flirt but if you're not in a committed relationship with me for THREE months, you are not entering inside this cooch.

Sure, it's been those "Baby, can I see you one last time?" scenarios and I'm not even trying to give them the time of day anymore .. sex is so empty now. I don't have a connection with anyone anymore and I want to experience that with someone new. A fresh new relationship because I'm so damn jealous of the awesome but sometimes, tumultuous relationships. They look so cute together and I would like someone to melt this cold ass heart of mine but not just anyone. Someone that will treat me like a queen just because it's Wednesday. Someone that'll treat me as a priority and not an option. Someone that thinks I'm beautiful and not because I have a nice rack and a big ass. Someone that can take me to a mental high and not just a physical high. I just want that love that you find in those love songs. Someone to teach me that love isn't overrated and that it can be just as magical as I've always dreamed it would be .. but I'm kinda figuring that she or he isn't here for me, here as in Milwaukee. As soon as I get some money, I'm getting the hell out of here.

School starts back on the 9th and I'm ready to get serious about school and working on my line. I got put on Academic Probation for failing English and Fundamentals of Design. Now, I have to retake the damn course along with it's next course but on a good note, I'm glad that I start my trends and concepts class soon. I'm so geeked up for that to learn what's hot and what's not and how to fashion forecast. This is going to be an interesting class. I really need to buckle down because I'm really trying to do something with my life. I know that in four months I will be applying for my bartending license and try to apply for every last bar on Water Street and also, apply at every hookah bar in Milwaukee as well, have to get this money somehow. I've been trying to apply to every store in Milwaukee that I can find and to no avail .. so the job search continues.

Well, I'm ending it off on this note and I'll make sure to write an introductory piece of me soon, maybe facts about me or some shit but until then, adios.